B, I can see why D thinks that I am standing over you with this list, cracking the domestic whip! I have even joked about hefting a skillet. Hmm, perhaps I should offer more carrot than stick in future?!
Just as clarification (and in my defence), when I stayed with B back in October, he talked about all the things that he would like to do to his house, just to improve it for him and his son, L. He had made a start before my visit. Although B's house is fine as it is, it was possible to see how lovely his house could be if he continued his work and how certain things on the list would enhance his enjoyment of his home. E.g. the new dining table is beautiful and the old table can now serve as a proper permanent desk for his PC - two problems solved.
I know a little bit about doing house improvements as I had to renovate my 1880s terraced cottage in London. Doing up my house took a long time and occasionally, I would feel overwhelmed by the list of things to be done, just to get it functional and clean. In those moments, progress stood still as I would be paralysed by the enormity of the tasks.
So rather than allow B to get swallowed up by his list of projects, I wrote up everything that he mentioned he would like to do when I got back to London after my visit. It is at the very start of this blog. Just so that I can help him to prioritise, focus on manageable projects and be a sound board for his ideas, as he works through each piece of work.
It's a bit frustrating as I would love to be there, helping B to work on his house in person. However, at least this way B gets some support and I still get to feel involved (from a long way away). Also, it gives us both something positive to talk about as we do not see each other for weeks at a time, rather than moan about the fact that we are missing each other.
In reality, although I joke about the skillet and B does listen to my input, he does what he wants to do - it is B's house, so while I might suggest destinations, I am not the one steering the boat.
In terms of my own Honey Do list. B knows that he doesn't have to set me one - he knows that I am groaning under the load of my own, self inflicted set of tasks related to home admin, sport admin and knitting projects with deadlines. I am quite happy to share it, if B promises to help me prioritise, give support, input when I am stuck and crack the whip when I am flagging on the job!