Tuesday, November 13, 2007

An Imposter of Santas?

Well it’s not everyday that one encounters a group of men dressed in Father Christmas outfits outside one’s office building, not even here in the concrete jungle!

They even sang carols while the press took photographs and a PR lady bustled about. So I am guessing that I will be able to read all about it in the free newspapers on my way home this evening?

You know, I wonder what the collective noun is for Father Christmases (or Santas, as you prefer)? Any suggestions from the West Shore Camp time zone?

Hmm, a gaggle doesn’t seem right - so, how about a sack of santas? Or a present of santas?

Maybe, a sleigh of santas? Potentially, it could be a chimney of Father Christmases?

Is it even technically possible?

Isn’t the whole point that it is just one man, his elven helpers*, his sleigh and his reindeer?

Hmm. I hope that these grainy camera phone pictures don’t kill the Father Christmas myth for any small children!

It’s alright everyone, don’t panic, I think that these were imposters (some of them were far too athletic to be The Real McCoy).

Oooh, that's it! How about an imposter of Santas? Just on the basis that there can be only one?

So....if you see more than one, they cannot be real?!

It’s okay everyone – yes the office is getting to me – it’s a steely grey, wet day here - I’m off to take my medicine now. I’ll be just fine…eventually!


Elven helpers*: now why is it that Father Christmas’s elven helpers bear absolutely no resemblance to any other elves in literature? Take the elves of Tolkien’s Middle Earth, for example - can you imagine Legolas dressing up in cheerful red and green adorned with twinkly bells to make and pack toys for children worldwide?

Nope, me either. Now Father Christmas's elves seem to be closer in intent and stature to the ones in the Elves and the Shoemaker fairy tale. Except clothed.

I wonder why we have two such different images of elves. The heroic, mysterious elf and the cheerful, helpful, skillful elf? Can anyone explain?


Heather said...

1. Children are well aware that there is only one true Father Christmas and that he can't be at two places at the same time. It is for this very reason that he hires trained helpers who dress like him for PR purposes.
2. Elves, like any other racial group look, dress and behave differently the world over. Santa's elves are from the North Pole. That's what elves from the North Pole look like.
3. What's for dinner?

Brian said...

Obviously you have never met an elf before, because if you had, you wouldn't be asking your question. Elves are elves you know. They are not that helpfull. There are many other creatures out there of similar stature that we humans catch a glimpse of from time to time and 'lump' into the general category of elf due to flawed nomenclature and lack of understanding. Elves reluctantly tolerate this practice as they understand our limitations.

Gabrielle said...

Oh my god, we have an elf debate on our hands! I side with Heather (hiya, did you get home safely?!). Even Tolkein has ancestry family trees showing how the different races of elves developed, differently over time I believe, in terms of their beliefs, skills etc. related to their habitat/location?

Dotty said...

I won't get into the whole elf thing... I've hung out with elves before and you don't want to mess with 'em.

BTW, a group of Santas is referred to as a 'sleigh of Santas'.